This post will contain references to nudity. If you don't want to hear about things that were done to me while I was naked, find something else to read.
I went back to the Korean Day Spa voluntarily today.
The first time I went, my friend dragged me along and gave me a vague "it's a spa, we get massages" explanation. She knew if she told me what to expect I'd have never gone through with it. Fast forward two and half years and I called her up and invited her to a spa day. It had been a while since we had connected and my neck was stiff.
Sunday mornings at 10am, the spa is empty. Nice! We check in and get our locker keys. I had bought our day passes to the spa on Groupon and the massages were extra that we paid upfront. Head down to the locker room, get undressed and this time I know, we leave our clothes and towels at the lockers and walk naked into the jacuzzi room. There is no one around and the showers are all dry (YES! As a closet germophobe, getting to use the showers before anyone else has makes me internally happy). We shower, hop into the hot tub and then sit for a bit in the dry sauna waiting for our numbers to be called for the massage. A few other people wander in but it's still very empty and quiet.
They call our numbers and we head into the massage area. It's a small tiled room, with eight tables wrapped in plastic. Two tiny Korean ladies are standing in front of us wearing only black bras and underwear. Mine smiles at me and motions for me to lie down on the table, face down. I am about to flip over, front to back, a lot.
The first time I did this massage, I had no idea what was coming and felt mildly violated albeit very soft afterwards. This time, I am prepared. My tiny Korean lady starts scrubbing my entire body with two hand gloves and a scrub mixture. She is thorough and brisk, missing nothing. Then she grunts at me to turn over. Now she is scrubbing my entire body again, from a new angle. I am amazed that even though she moves quickly and her strokes are long, she always stops just shy of my very private areas. But only just. I can't have any modesty or shame, I'm literally laid bare on this table in front of her. And it feels amazing.
After having me turn on each side and back onto my front, she has scrubbed every literal inch of me and then she rinses me off with bowls of warm water that she pours over me. With a warm towel she starts to work out my back and neck, my legs, my arms... then I turn over again. She places a warm cloth over my eyes and works on my arms and legs, shoulders and chest, through the towel.
I have a theory that they cover your eyes when you are on your back at these places because otherwise you'd be making eye contact with some stranger while they touch your intimate areas.
After the towel massage she has me turn over yet again and now she starts massaging me with oil. They squirt the oil on you from a plastic condiments bottle, which I find hilariously ridiculous and yet extremely convenient. I have a fear of sliding right off the table each time she tells me to turn over, but it hasn't happened yet. At her command, I flip back onto my back and this is where it gets awkward in my mind. Essentially some tiny woman is straddling me on a plastic wrapped massage bed in a damp locker room rubbing me down with oil. She works my legs, my abs, my arms, my breasts... her touch is firm and exacting. I am grateful that my eyes are covered, eye contact at this juncture would be too much for me. She is almost more thorough than some guys I have slept with (not all).
Now comes my favorite part.
She puts a cucumber face mask all over my face after massaging it with a sweet smelling oil and then washing it with almond milk. Sometimes her touch is rougher than I would treat my own face, but it all feels amazing. I figure Koreans generally age really well, so who am I to complain? After the face mask is applied, she rinses my hair and shampoos it. There is something spectacular about having someone else wash your hair. I can't explain it, but it is top three among my favorite ways to be touched. I'm lying down on this plastic-wrapped table naked and my face is covered in cucumber yet there is nowhere else I'd rather be. She massages my scalp while she shampoos and I am next level content. Rinse again, and repeat with conditioner, then rinse all that out too and wrap my hair in a towel. My face is still masked and now she takes almond milk and massages my torso, arms and legs again.
Sadly my time (80 minutes) in this Korean bliss is coming to an end and she unwraps my face and I sit up. She brings me a squirt bottle of almond milk and gestures me to cup my hands then she squirts the milk into them and I rinse my face. We repeat a few times and then she brings bowls of hot water and douses me until all the almond milk, oil and residue is gone and I am sitting on a clean, wet, plastic massage table.
My tiny savior motions me towards the showers and I stand there under the hot water playing it over in my mind. This experience is jarringly invasive and amazingly relaxing simultaneously and I am mentally scheduling the next one. I glance over at my friend and know she is on the same page. If anyone is mulling it over, don't hesitate, just go. Years ago the blatant nudity threw me off, it was weird to be so naked in front of strangers, but since everyone else pretty much is, it starts to feel almost normal and you forget. It's worth it, even if you just hang in the hot tubs and saunas. We have been to facilities that have multi level areas with steam rooms, clay rooms, ice rooms, oxygen rooms and napping areas. Check Groupon for local deals and let me know your experience!
We love you Korean day spas.
